My boyfriend wants an open relationship

The question is does My boyfriend wants an open relationship because he’s poly or because he’s sick of the relationship and wants to be with other people.

If it’s the first option then it’s up to you whether you are willing to try being open or not. If not then he has to decide whether his relationship with you is more important than being able to love or sleep with multiple people.

If it’s the second option then you may as well break up unless he’s willing to work on fixing whatever the problem is.

let’s Read other People’s opinions about it.

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My boyfriend wants an open relationship…62 Advice

1
if you don’t want it and can’t work something out with your boyfriend, leave. don’t stick around in a one-sided open relationship if you don’t want it. I did once and it was awful.

2
you both want completely different things. if you continue this you’ll end up getting crushed. I really suggest you both take a break, for both your sanities.

3
Monogamy and polygamy are both extremely valid relationship dynamics.
With that being said, I don’t see this ending happily for either of you.

If you say yes to please him, you are likely going to be crushed and uncomfortable while putting his needs before your own.
If he lets it go, he is likely going to internally feel unfulfilled – wondering what’s out there for him.

The most healthy approach would be to discuss how important this is to him and communicate your needs.
A mutual breakup may end up being the best solution.

4
Break it off, none of you have to be wrong in this really. You’re just two people who aren’t looking for the same thing and that’s completely ok.

And if it’s something you wanna try out then that’s your decision but don’t try to change such a huge preference for someone else in the past My boyfriend wants an open relationship and I said no to him because that’s my decision.

Either way, you go someone’s going to be unhappy so I think maybe it would be better for you both to look for someone who’s looking for what you are and you’ll both be happier in the end.

5
If it was me I would just leave, I don’t really like the concept of My boyfriend wants an open relationship, but you should do whatever you feel is right.

6
if you don’t want it and can’t work something out, leave. don’t stick around in a one-sided open relationship if you don’t want it. I did once and it was awful.

7
He should have talked to you about this a long time ago. At this point, he can be monogamous with you, or move along so you can find someone else.

8
Nothing wrong with open/poly relationships, but there’s also nothing wrong with not wanting one.

I’d discuss with him how important it is to him as I know some people just can’t be happy in monogamous relationships.

it may mean breaking up, but you deserve to be happy (as does he of course) and maybe it’s best to do so before it gets to the point it ends badly.

9
I don’t believe in open relationships that begin after you already started dating. An open relationship should be agreed upon before you start dating by both parties.

10
To each their own on open relationships. If it’s your thing then cool and I respect it. However, I do not personally believe in my boyfriend

I see it as y’all are either together or you’re not and still messing around and with other ppl.

If you’re not comfortable with it I would find someone who is ready to commit and make you a priority and focus.

11
You want different things and that’s ok, but don’t put yourself in a situation that will hurt you long term.
Better to leave on good terms.

12
To me open relationships are baffling I would never say anything to someone or make an issue of it but In my mind every time I see them my mind is.

13
I’d always encourage looking into polyamory. But if you have and know it’s not for you, the relationship won’t work out.

14
leave him I’m sure he’ll find someone who’s already a natural polygamist. Remind him to advertise himself as such so he doesn’t lead anyone on again.

15
if you want an open relationship with your boyfriend, practice being poly with a partner who is also and knows this is how it works from the get-go.

16
I share family and friends, not lovers. It’s perfectly okay if you’re not okay with being poly and don’t let anyone make you feel bad/weird for it.

17
Truth be told if neither of you is able to compromise those needs, then you shouldn’t be a couple. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to him.

18
I was in an open relationship a while ago with someone and it worked well for 8 months and then it failed as he couldn’t do it any longer.

It doesn’t mean your boyfriend is a bad person. Have a talk with him and try to figure out why he wants one and explain why you don’t and come to a conclusion.

Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Either way, I hope you do what best for you.

19
If you have any doubts whatsoever, an open relationship is most certainly not for you. Hopefully, he can respect that. If not, might be time to rethink the relationship.

20
You may be a nice couple but your goals are pointed at different directions. It’s not the end of the world.

It might be better to end the relationship now and in good terms than pushing it too far and have a nasty breakup.

Read also –> 30 Advice to not be toxic in Your Relationship

21
Usually, when someone wants an open relationship it’s because they don’t know how else to remain in the relationship, like a last resort kind of thing
So I’d prob just leave.

22
If he wants that and you don’t you two just aren’t compatible in a romantic sense.

Friends yeah but you can’t force yourself to be in an open relationship if it makes you unhappy. And he can’t force himself to be monogamous if it makes him unhappy.

23
if My boyfriend wants an open relationship, and I don’t want one, it will never work. I did this for a year; I thought we were exclusive.

he believed we were in an open relationship and made me feel like shit when I wanted attention from him.

24
is there is something in the world called  My boyfriend wants an open relationship, tell him no?. And if he can’t handle that, you need to break up. Don’t compromise, don’t accept anything less.

Because if you let him, and you’re not 100% into it, it will hurt you so much.

25
don’t even be someone’s second choice, If they can’t weigh out between u and another partner, then you aren’t providing them what they need (and it’s NOT YOUR FAULT).

Some people will find temporary happiness in you, and still, be looking for MORE. This isn’t your problem, it is theirs.

26
I think it’s great that he’s openly communicating about what he wants with you (bc most people would be cowards and cheat).

If it’s not something you are comfortable with, then move on. This came up with an ex, and I realized I prob would have been OK with the situation, but he just wasn’t moving through it in a respectful way, so I had to let go.

27
I don’t believe in open marriages or relationships so I personally would move on.
Not knocking people who can make them work, but they’re not my thing.

28
If you’re not comfortable with an open relationship with your boyfriend, don’t be pressured into it. If it’s not your thing, then it’s not for you and that’s ok.

Don’t let anyone tell you that because they’re in an open relationship that you should be, because your heart knows what it wants.

29
I’m poly and function better with open relationships. I think you should at least step back and reevaluate the relationship.

I’m poly but when I used to be with people who aren’t, I would usually cheat on them or dump them.

Or when I would try to be monogamous with them I’d struggle internally and really hate on myself for the feelings I had toward other people. Either way, it can be a struggle for all parties involved.

30
It seems like you and your boyfriend want different things. Talk to him, ask him why he wants an open relationship, and tell him what’s your concerns are, and where you stand.

I hope you can talk it out and come up with a solution that works for you both. If you can’t come up with something like that, then it might be better to break up.

31
you need to end it. It won’t work out. You both want completely different things. If either of you compromises for the sake of the other, you’ll end up resentful and probably in an unhealthy situation.

Neither of you will ever be happy if you have to forsake what you actually want for what the other person wants. It’s best to break it off now, while things are still on good terms.

32
I feel you insecure about that. I mean you want to be with him, but he only wants to be with you by his terms, in the long term probably will waste you or make it you unhappy, that’s not good.

First, you, believe me, you deserve all the good things You Dream, Ok, life isn’t fair many times, and shit happens.

but that doesn’t define that you don’t deserve all the best you dream, even the worst person in the world deserves the best.

Don’t sacrifice you, maybe now you feel in love and enchanted by him, but there are already many days to live, someone is there waiting for you and you can’t even imagine that now, but that’s for sure.

33
If you’re doing it just to bend yourself to keep him, break it off. I don’t think you should be with someone who isn’t sure if they want you or not.

No matter whether it’s a monogamous or polyamorous relationship.

34
Open relationships can be healthy. He can be committed anyways, BUT… If you are monogamous and feel uncomfortable with that, you should leave, or both of you are going to be miserable together.

35
If you want a relationship exclusively with him and he wants to have s*x with other women, I’m sorry but you’ll never change him. Can someone change YOUR stance? Probably not.

Your overall quality of life is paramount in the little time we have on this earth. You are only young and beautiful once don’t use it on this guy.

Please try and find happiness elsewhere.

36
There is nothing wrong with poly but it’s DEFINITELY not for every boyfriend. Both parties need to be on the same page though. You shouldn’t wait around for him to “decide”’ what he wants.

37
Seems to me he just wants permission to cheat. Don’t give in, if you really don’t want an open relationship. It’s going to hurt ending it. But it will hurt a lot less than as time goes on.

38
If you’re not interested in an open relationship, it’s time to end things before more feelings come into play and you get hurt. Sorry if this isn’t what you were hoping to hear.

39
I think that My boyfriend wants an open relationship because he’s sexually or romantically attracted to someone else.

you’re better off ending the relationship or going open otherwise he might be unfaithful.

40
I’d say that you two aren’t compatible. No matter what you do, one of you will always get the short end of the stick.

This will cause resentment and communication issues, overall the relationship won’t work with these issues. It’s better to leave now then get super hurt later.

Wanting an open relationship is ok, not wanting one is also ok.

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41
If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no. If you want a committed relationship and you accept an open one, you’ll just end up resenting him for it…. and you don’t want to be with someone who’s got one foot out the door at all times with you anyways.

It sucks, but the best thing to do is end it so you don’t waste your time.

42
You wouldn’t be reaching out if you’d be okay with it, so even though I’m personally not against an open relationship I don’t think you should make yourself be involved in one.

If he isn’t here for how things have been then maybe it’s not working out, but you shouldn’t change in a way that makes you uncomfortable.

43
what I did to My boyfriend that wants an open relationship is Generally I asked him about the meaning, the friends of mine who are in open relationships understand there are still boundaries.

If he’s just expecting complete freedom while still securing you in a form of a relationship, then just break up.

when he responds differently, and you want to be with him still, talk about why he wants an open relationship, and decide from there.

If you’re asking advice, you probably know where you stand, you just want to be reaffirmed.

44
Does your boyfriend always want it to be open? What do you want out of this? Love, stability, commitment, a family? If he’s just someone who has caught your eye for now and you have no real plans, try something open if it’s open on both sides and there are rules.

If you want a future with him and you’re going with this to please him or you hope that he will change his mind, leave him now.

45
Dump him. Not because he is necessarily a bad person, but you want different things and have different ideas about monogamy.

Some people might be cool with that but if you aren’t high-tail it out of there.

46
If it’s not something you want it’s time to end it. If you agree just to please him will only prolong the eventual break up it will be more painful too.

Not every guy wants an open relationship despite what you may see online. There are still men that aren’t interested in sharing.

I am not dissing open relationships but they only work if it’s truly what both people want.

47
I honestly don’t understand this “Open relationship” bs, and frankly, if he wants to be with other girls then he rather is single.

48
You’re not compatible it seems. He basically wants an open license to cheat, and it increases the likelihood that he’ll find someone that he wants to settle down with that isn’t you. As a monogamist, you’ll only end up hurt.

49
I am in an open relationship with my boyfriend but neither of us has ever actually used it… Because we are boring and don’t get out much lol but we did have a really crazy night at a music festival in which the open rule was set.

But after that, it never happened again. The experience changed the dynamic of the relationship.

We don’t feel locked into our relationship over the expectation of monogamy, we’re in our relationship because we choose to be together.

50
Monogamy definitely isn’t for everyone. Personally I like to try everything once just to dip my toes in the water but if it isn’t for you then don’t do it.

Ultimately it will weigh on you even though it isn’t about you. It isn’t that you aren’t good enough, some people just want different things and that’s okay.

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51
t’s a way bigger deal than a different type of compromise, such as trying out a new hobby with him.

He will be seeing other people and you being someone who doesn’t want that could become very upset, jealous, and hurt. You’re better off finding someone else.

52
If your boyfriend wants it and you don’t, then you guys shouldn’t have one, in order for you to have a good open relationship, you both need to consent, it’s clearly not something you want so it shouldn’t happen.

53
if you’re not comfortable with an open relationship and he doesn’t think he can be monogamous, let him go. I always advocate for people to be open to non-monogamy.

You could also slow down and continue to date casually and continue to assess the situation.

54
He’s obviously curious and wants to explore more. He’ll end up doing it whether he’s in a relationship or not.

Let him do what he wants while you find someone that better suits what you want! We all grow and learn at different times in life.

so I wouldn’t take it personally. I’d say this time in your life you’re better off apart.

55
If your boyfriend pushing for an open relationship you need to disconnect and look for someone who shares your idea of commitment.

56
he’s just not that into you and likes to have his cake and eat it too while he searches for something better. doesn’t matter what he says to reassure you when y’all talk about it, he is lying.

57
I’m polyamorous and it’s all about consent, say no if you don’t feel right about it, maybe talk more about it if you’re curious, but no is always 100% an option. It’s all about communication and respect.

58
you should never be with someone who isn’t sure about you. How can someone love you if he’s not sure about you?.

Don’t waste your time, sweetheart. Leave him and give yourself time, you’ll find someone who’ll be dying to keep you in his life.

59
You wrote he is indecisive about wanting to be with u or not. So the open relationship sounds like a compromise. A relationship should never be a compromise. Know ur worth.

60
He waited to get the relationship established and then asked, just say you aren’t comfortable with it.

Just know that your boyfriend wants something more and that may be an issue later. It’s like when one person wants kids or marriage or something, Maybe try a relationship counselor if you want it to work and they can talk you through the possibilities.

61
If you guys can’t work out something then it might not last. But if he’s willing to stay with only you and not pressure you into an open relationship then you’re good. It’s something you should talk about.

62
I’ve been there. If it’s something you’re open with boyfriend and comfortable doing, go for it. There are loads of resources online on how to navigate it and communicate effectively.

HOWEVER, if there is even a speck of doubt in your mind say no and hold firm. If he wants to stay he’ll make it work, if not, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartaches.

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Can he be satisfied with only one partner? Would he be willing to stay one-on-one? Or would you be willing to try a more open setting once you’re more settled in a relationship?

if My boyfriend wants an open relationship I would Read all this advice carefully and Choose what will be Suitable for me.

 

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