Try re-evaluating yourself and try to find why you’re “that guy” to the woman you’ve dated
so you can figure out How to not be toxic in a relationship.
Also, try finding yourself again and don’t jump into relationships unless you know you wanna commit.
Read also –> why do looks matter in a relationship?
18 Step for avoiding being Toxic in the Relationship:
therapy! you can’t stop being toxic without learning why you are that way and fixing your traumas! there’s nothing wrong with accepting it, it’s actually a pretty big step towards a chance.
Been him a few times, you can change. Therapy – even if that’s just a frank chat with a friend. I would recommend a friend, rather than your partner because they aren’t at the sharp end of it.
Also, take an honest look at your partner: if you’re not suited to someone you like, your brain can pull all kinds of dick moves rather than just admit this to itself.
Listen to what criticisms you get, note down what they say, and then write down your perspective and how you got to the situation.
Consider reflecting this info onto a neutral party for feedback (talk to them about it)
Ask how to deal with it, or how the people you’re around would like for you to handle it.
Reflect on it and try not to think black and white. Moderate your answer to things in finding balance or the most appropriate answer you can find.
It really depends on what’s causing it, but most toxic behaviors I’ve had have been linked to self-esteem issues.
I solved most of those through admitting to them in therapy, working out strategies for building self-esteem, and practicing communicating clearly (instead of being passive-aggressive). Finding a line of work that I enjoyed playing a huge part in it too.
The first step is honestly realizing you’re toxic. Everybody has toxic behaviors, it’s up to you to fix it. Therapy, or if it’s something you can fix without therapy, just work on that.
I’m genuinely curious why you think you’re toxic? Are you? Or are you attracted to toxic people & they think they aren’t toxic?
Btw I was extremely toxic for years and I was in open Relationship. I’ve been on a healing journey for about 3 years. I had to take complete ownership of myself to change.
I really faced & accepted who I am in my core to be changed. Basically I identified the problem to solve the problem.
It’s wasn’t easy but it’s absolutely possible.
Write down a list of all the things for which you’ve been called toxic. Find a reason for why you might be that way. Try meditating. And also the journal.
I know it sounds like something a 15-year-old girl would do but I’ve had a similar problem recently and I thought enough was enough. I write down whatever I’m feeling or whatever happens every single day. It helps you sort things out.
Also, you can keep a track of what’s happened so you can figure out exactly what leads you to behave in a certain way on another day.
And remember, becoming a better person just doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a while so don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t see results immediately.
Analyze yourself and figure out what makes you toxic, how/why you were toxic, and learn to fix it. If there’s another person involved, ask for their input on your supposed toxicity and see what they say.
Go from there and work on those flaws. There are a lot of subreddits that can help with this!
The best treatment for being toxic is understanding your issues and dealing with them in a healthy manner. You’re halfway there already.
When I finally realized and admitted how toxic I was I did therapy for a couple of months online.
I also watch ted talks that pertain to that. Another big thing was me admitting to people I was toxic.
The biggest thing I’ve found is being mindful of your “I’s” meaning, think about them first when there is s dispute. Don’t start with “I only get pissed off because you do this”.
Stop and think and maybe come from an “our communication seems to break down when/ this seems to happen when”. Listen, listen, listen. Open ears pay off 100 times more than an open mouth.
And try to put yourself in their shoes before speaking or even thinking of a situation that you’d be speaking on. Empathy, openness, and communication.
Have more confidence, self-respect, and love for yourself. Odds are the people who end up breaking up with you should’ve been let go long ago.
You’ll end up with the right person/people, it’s best to be picky. Otherwise, you’re only inviting heartache into yours and another’s lives. Focus on you for a while, be happy with yourself first.
Go to therapy, and stop dating. It’s hard work changing toxic ways, and inner reflection can be challenging for someone who is toxic as they often are incapable of really identifying the true scope and depth of their toxicity, and will revert to those same behaviors in certain situations.
Therapy isn’t extremely affordable, but there are online options that are there that are significantly cheaper than traditional ones. Also, look for support groups in your area. They’re free!.
if you do change, never expect the people you’ve wronged to have to accept the new you. They’re allowed to establish that boundary.
Many people find it easy to revert back to nasty behaviors because of this. No one will ever owe you another chance. It’s the hardest lesson to learn.
It’s definitely something that you might want to get professional help for, my dude. It doesn’t make you a bad person to recognize things you can improve about your behavior.
Even labeling yourself as “toxic” is self-defeating. You have underlying trauma which you need to resolve. It’s not toxic, it’s human.
Expecting healthy relationships when you know those traits are causing you to be at odds with others is tough, trust me, I know.
You want to know How to not be toxic in a Relationship, Like not even kidding, I would recommend therapy!! It worked perfectly for me!! and My was Sad Relationship Story become much better I was in a TOXIC relationship. CRAZY TOXIC.
After therapy (I’m studying psychology) I now find myself in the best relationship ever!! (My boyfriend’s the one in the pic. Lost a bet lol)
So therapy for sure.
I would recommend gestalt therapy for yous situation (cause that worked for me). If you want more help don’t hesitate to send me a message (same to anyone going through something similar).
That’s awesome that you notice what you’re doing is toxic, that’s huge and that’s step one. Step two is therapy, honestly, that’s the only way you’ll be able to break the cycle.
Self-reflection and being alone. I have been writing a lot of the wrongs that I didn’t know I had and it’s been tough but the first step is realizing that you have issues you need to resolve with yourself.
Humble yourself with time alone and lots of psychedelics. Therapy is a great option but it only gets you so far. Having someone help you identify the problems is nice.
Only, “you,” know what it’ll take to be your best. Don’t let the 6-year-old, “you,” down.